Breakfast 6 AM: Three eggs, three slices of bacon, carrot and green onion
Lunch Noon: Pretty much out of food in the fridge I scraped the last of my almond butter and yogurt into a jar, grabbed an apple and some mixed raw nuts and headed out the door. It was actually kind of nice to eat a small lunch until…I headed to the store on my way home so that I could make dinner and ended up getting REALLY HANGRY (hungry and angry if you haven’t heard that) and I started twitching inside Trader Joe’s and imagining tearing open bags of potato chips and tubs of ice cream while screaming. I managed to avoid buying anything destructive and let myself have a banana as soon as I got through the check out line.
What’s the deal with this? I’m sure part of it is that I fell off the “watching my caffeine consumption at work” wagon and I was crashing from too little food, and too much caffeine at the same time, coinciding with shitty weather and heavy duty end of week impatience and exhaustion but still…I feel like I should be able to go without food for longer. I think I’m bad at being hungry, I’m even afraid of it. I’ve been thinking a lot about it because of reading about Intermittent Fasting a lot on MDA. I want to try it, because I think it might help me deal with some of my irrational food issues, would be good for me physically and would be a satisfying mental challenge to put myself up against. I seriously have this wall up about it though. I feel like if I were to go the whole day without food and I did anything besides lay in bed and moan that I might black out or stab someone, or both. And it’s so hard to decide when to do it, what day do you pick to be miserable? Do I ease myself into it or just go all in and fast all day until sundown next Monday. AH!!
I’ll keep reading and keep thinking on it.
Once I finally got home after an ass kicking week and an ass kicking day I ate some frozen berries and nuts to stave off my rage/hunger combo. (I think I eat too much fruit and nuts! I don’t know what to do!) Got some work done and then started dinner.
Dinner 7 PM:
This was the first time I cooked myself a conscious cheat meal. I really craved something dense and grainy with my dinner and I had some rice sitting in the cabinet from pre-primal days so I threw it in with some organic chicken thighs, zucchini,and red bell pepper.
I am torn about how bad I feel about this. White rice is more of a waste of stomach real estate than being severely detrimental. It’s just sort of empty calories. I feel like it was a good way to cheat considering I was at the grocery store enraged and managed to walk out with the worst thing in my basket being a bottle of red wine and some dried fruit and cashews. But anyone reading feel free to berate me and tell me why I’m a lazy cheater. I can handle it.
whatshecaneat 